January 2012
3 posts
12:51 p.m. A Framingham woman was arrested after a traffic stop at on Hartford Street, police said. The woman, 27, was charged with unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, forgery and cited for speeding, police said. She allegedly gave an officer a Brazilian license with her photo taped over the original. She was held on a federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement detainer.
If...
CORPORATE INTERESTS AND THE AMERICAN LEGAL SYSTEM... →
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November 2011
6 posts
SOMETIMES YOU ONLY NEED TO READ THE INTRO →
OLYMPIA, Wash. - What began as a man’s attempt to discipline his child turned into a sordid case of abuse when police say the Washington man forced his 16-year-old daughter to don Renaissance armor and engage in a wooden sword battle for two hours, reports CBS station YELM Seattle…
Two enter, one leaves. Duh.
LET THE RECORD SHOW MY CLIENT IS A PATRIOTS FAN →
That’s proper attire to wear during a mug shot, I tell you what.
THIS DOES NOT SOUND KINKY OR FUN →
This is when you need Carl Weathers to pop up next to you at your arraignment saying “Here we go!” and then, the most insane defense argument ever begins. Let’s see how the “but we play with guns during sex” approach works in vindicating this guy.
SUDDENLY, MEXICAN PRISONS DON'T SOUND THAT BAD →
A sweep of a jail in Mexico turned up a number of surprising guests over the weekend, including 19 prostitutes, two peacocks and 100 fighting roosters, authorities said.
October 2011
7 posts
BUT, WE GOT A B- IN 'ANTHRAX ENVELOPE AWARENESS' →
The United States remains largely unprepared for a large-scale bioterrorism attack or deadly disease outbreak, according to the WMD Terrorism Research Center. The finding are in a report card released Wednesday, which gave the country 15 failing grades in categories ranging from detection to medical countermeasures. The report card gave 15 F’s,15 D’s and no A’s in its...
September 2011
3 posts
THE FORECAST CALLS FOR HEAVY RAINS FOLLOWED BY... →
Ohhh…..KINKY!!!
December 2010
3 posts
FIFA TO THE UNITED STATES: FU** YOU →
Well it’s raining shit upon the USA as of late in terms of hosting international sporting events. We’ve got the Superbowl still (until that gets outsourced to India), but we failed at getting the Olympics, and then we failed again today in getting the World Cup. Obviously, I can’t argue with the Qatar decision. I mean god damn it, have you seen what they’ve built over...
November 2010
20 posts
LIFE IMITATES "THE X FILES" MOVIE →
It would stand to reason that if you decided to air some dirty laundry of the world’s superpowers, that at some point soon after that, you yourself would become a target somehow. Like Martin Landau’s character in the the X-Files movie. Now, I don’t recall a lot of that movie— something about bees, cavemen, aliens that look like petroleum— but I do rememeber how...
WHEN YOU PAY FOUR EURO FOR A PLANE TICKET, YOU... →
I can see it now…aisles of furious European passengers, refusing to get off the plane because Belgium isn’t France. And they’re right: it isn’t. Belgium, in fact, is it’s own country; it won independence from Geneva in 1953. Another fact about Belgium: land-wise, it is the world’s 5th largest country.
“WOT? THIS INN’T FRANCE, LUV? THAT’S A...
SUPERNATURAL KILLER, CANADIAN COMEDIAN, TERRORIST,... →
Man enters a water plant, removes clothes, turns off switches, puts on haz-mat suit, turns off a back-up generator, and then turns off even more switches. At this point he was stopped, and gave the name “Michael Myers” to police when they came to arrest him. Sure it doesn’t make sense, but here’s the punchline: it happened in Florida.
NOW, I bet it makes sense.
YOUR CAT IS ANTI-AMERICAN →
Well, not really. But cartoonist Jim Davis (he of “Garfield” fame) had to issue an apology for a comic strip that offended some people on Veteran’s Day yesterday. Apparently it was a spider picking a fight with Garfield, and the outcome was predictable. The spider, before being crushed to death, said he will have a day of remembrance. Final panel: a classroom of spiders being...
THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION (OR ONE OF THEM) →
As I recall, it was something along the lines of “The operation was called hobbling.” I don’t know how you forget that one, Debra J.
WHATEVER, YOU DRAMA QUEEN →
An hero has been done before. And it wasn’t cool then, or every time it’s been done since then.
THE SS DISGUSTING APPROACHES →
“They couldn’t flush and there’s quite a smell issue on the ship,” Cole told CBS by cell phone.
The stench and lack of electricity aside, this probably isn’t the worst cruise ship outing ever. That distinction would have to go to the cruise ship from “Jason Takes Manhattan.”
OH I CERTAINLY AGREE WITH YOU, JURY. I THINK WE... →
Give the criminal what he wants. And make sure the other guy gets it, too.
OH YEAH? AND WHAT ARE YOU TWO CLOWNS GOING TO DO... →
You know, for a country that can’t keep track of it’s nuclear weapons and for another one that takes a “laissez faire” approach to human rights, y’all seem to be up in our bidness a bit too much. Let the Fed do it’s thing…I have faith.
WHEN YOU LEAST IT EXPECT IT...IT HAPPENS AGAIN →
Obviously, natural gas is too dangerous. We need a return to the good old days, where we burned peat moss and coal. And barrels of oil, just for fun.
October 2010
8 posts
DRIVING OFF OF CLIFFS DOES HAPPEN ON OCCASION →
Junior Seau will face no charges from police after driving his SUV off a cliff. And surviving, no less. Bad ass. Anyways, he had just been released from jail before his crash; he spent the night in lockup due to a domestic violence charge. That’s a pretty lousy 12 hour chain of events right there. The good news is, the accident caused a fifteen yard loss, the cliff fumbled, and the...
IF I HAD TO GUESS, I'D SAY THE FIRST SENTENCE OF... →
Candidate asks, ‘Where in the constitution is the separation of church and state?’
Wow. Good luck with damage control on this one, Candidate.
“He was trying to tell me how to bag a Hollywood actress. He said, ‘If you...”
– Terrell Suggs on the words he exchanged with Tom Brady during yesterday’s 23-20 Pats win in OT.
OH, I GET IT. NOT GUILTY. THEY WERE SOMEONE... →
At one point during the hearing in September, he asked the judge: “If I want to plead guilty to some counts, basically, how would that go?”
Umar Farouk Abdullahmullabalalala will be representing himself in the case against him for an attempted terrorist attack last Christmas. If you recall, this is the fellow who tried to light the fuse to his underwear bomb while seated on a...
“A Pink Floyd fan is accused of failing to use one of the many restrooms at the...”
– via Boston Herald
NOT A GOOD EXCUSE, or, YOU'RE A LITTLE EARLY TO... →
A Colorado man plead not guilty to charges he fired at a police officer, stating that he feared for his life because he thought the cop was a zombie. The good news is, he missed: but then he was shot twice by the zombie cop. See, this is what I’ve been afraid of all along: zombies who can use firearms. Dangerous combination.